Once you’ve established that you’ve landed yourself with a TwinFlame situation, you’ll find yourself asking "Why?" a lot.
Why did this happen?
Why can’t I lose/escape/destroy this connection?
If you’ve got yourself a genuine TF entanglement, you’ll tick the boxes found on plenty of posts scattered across social media sites devoted to the TwinFlame dynamic.
Such as – having your worlds mutually blown to bits on first eye contact. Finding those feelings for that person following you around forever after. Physical sensations when you connect – and you know it happens when you connect with your thoughts – which may have become apparent in recent years as this paradigm stepped up a gear and found us all launched to a new level along with it. If your liaison isn’t a TF, you’ll quickly ‘get over it’ and ease the person concerned into handleable history after a while. If it is a TF, good luck with that, cos it’ll never happen. You can neither lose nor destroy What Is.
So to the Whys. I can only write with the benefit of a powerful TF connection which allows us both – for better or worse – access to each other’s thoughts. This sounds like a wonderful thing and in some ways it is, but in other ways it’s a serious challenge as you know nothing is ‘secret’ and you can’t choose your state of mind, which of course changes quite a lot. Incidentally, even while direct contact with your TF appears to be blindingly absent, if you’re taking part in social media conversations you can bet your bottom dollar s/he’s right behind you.
1) Why does my TF follow/unfollow me?
Despite the popular definition of runner-chaser syndrome, nobody is following anyone else. You’re in this together and whether you like it or not, you both want to confirm that what you’re going through is real. Both are irresistibly drawn to do things which are likely to create a response in the other, and whether or not the response manifests in 3D, it's felt and that's why the draw is there. You both want to know that it’s going to last, and every day that passes is a day to potentially doubt. Replacing doubt with certainty frees you up a lot. That doesn’t mean, by the way, that the backstage gameplay is going to end, nor does it mean you’re going to fall at his/her feet as soon as the curtains open, because a lifetime is a long time and neither of you know what is going to be right for you in the future. In the meantime, you seem to be following/being followed and running rings around your realities because that’s how the dynamic works. How it looks and what it is are not necessarily the same things.
2) Why does my TF want to hurt me?
This is a tricky one, because often it seems that all a TF wants to do is hurt you, endlessly. They don’t actually want to hurt you, they don’t want to be hurt. So the Get Out of Jail Free card appears to give them carte blanche to hurt you first. You get hurt, and the temptation might be to hurt back. We all fall into this one at some point, but bear in mind that it’s part of the plan. Even when you resist hurting back, they still seem to want to hurt you, only in a different way. It might well be that the game has changed and the goal posts have been shifted, so things have changed but you’re still expecting to get hurt. Remember, neither of you control this. You might think you do, but you don’t. Take it from the rest of the community – everyone says the same things on these lines. Eventually you’ll find a natural resistance to pain, which doesn’t mean you stop feeling, it means you stop responding negatively to the perpetual triggers. There's a reason for those, too.
3) Why does my TF keep triggering me?
They can’t help it. You can’t help it any more than they can, but in the spirit of human nature you think it’s them, you think they have an unfair advantage, you think they have a different agenda to yours (which isn’t as nice/as pure/as empathic). A lot of people think their TFs are narcissistic and for sure, it often looks that way. Self-preservation and self-absorption are hard to tell apart, but the crux of it is to overcome natural flaws in self-realisation. When you resist judging each other and get on with the positive energy exchange you were sent to manage between you, the relationship looks different again. Sometimes things look black and sometimes they look sunny - balancing up the averages in favour of brightness takes you to higher ground. You’re going to feel triggered because part of the plan is to get you to be resistant to triggers, not just from your TF but from the world in general. One of the first things my TF telepathically said to me was, “You have to toughen up, Kath, or the world will bring you down.” After a few years, I’m beginning to get the hang of that one.
4) Why can't I escape this?
Because by all accounts this is a connection that has been chosen for you. You didn't decide on it, not in this lifetime anyway. Many believe we made the agreement with our TwinFlames in advance as to how the story would pan out this time around. Wherein the truth may be, synchronicity will jump you at every turn. Coincidence? Choice? You'll ask that a lot, I daresay, and sometimes the answers will be there fleetingly to make you wonder whether they were really there or not. It all points to a combination of choice, circumstance and destiny but whatever it is, the Universe will do what it will do.
Why are these challenges essential? Look at the world around you. Full to the brim with corruption, deceit, cruelty and vicious insanity. There’s sound logic in not judging others, but we can nevertheless see the effects of commonalities we don’t particularly want to be party to. Your TF might not be an angel but then you’re not connected to compare angelic qualities, you’re entangled with someone who’s going to test you relentlessly into better self-management. It may be that the benefits of these improvements seem to end up being handed over to a karmic partner, but bear in mind that this isn’t an easy ride for either of you, because you cannot be together as and when you want to be. There's a lot of ground to cover - Infinity takes on a whole new resonance. Some of us may never be physically together, others end up finally in what’s known as ‘union’. We all have similar ideals but these, like everything else, will change as our circumstances change. There’s no holy grail here, and no sure bet as to the outcome, other than you becoming what you are destined to become, of yourself, within yourself, for yourself. That is the value of the TF relationship, a deeper-than-the-soul relationship you will only find once in your lifetime.
At the heart of all this, there’s a shifting paradigm, a new way of looking at love as an energy and handling its effects, a new way of being that casts out the old to bring in fresh perspectives that serve a better purpose. We are evolving. Age is irrelevant. If you’re thinking, you are stepping up to the plate. If you’re breathing, you’re alive to see it all happen. Being alive at this time in the world’s development is a privilege and an immense challenge. We might find it hard sometimes to feel this way, but there’s room to be grateful for that love at your side, however tricky its tests may prove to be, and however distant the realisation of what it was all for in the first place.
Kathy is the author of Quantumology. She met up with quantum mechanics in 1997, pledging allegiance to its sources thereafter. These are her personal thoughts and testimonies.